A martyr to assumptions

Why is it if you say the word assume it immediately gives the reader (especially if they are taking an opposition to your prior statements) the option to stop reading, listening, comprehending.

If you say ‘perhaps’ as in “I’m guessing here as to why such and such could have been/ appeared/ happened” all that is heard and responded to is that you used the word assume.

What does assume mean to you?

The actual definition of the word:

as·sume /əˈsum/ –verb (used with object)

1. to take for granted or without proof; suppose; postulate; posit: to assume that everyone wants peace.

2. to take upon oneself; undertake: to assume an obligation.

3. to take over the duties or responsibilities of: to assume the office of treasurer.

4. to take on (a particular character, quality, mode of life, etc.); adopt: He assumed the style of an aggressive go-getter.

5. to take on; be invested or endowed with: The situation assumed a threatening character.

6. to pretend to have or be; feign: to assume a humble manner.

7. to appropriate or arrogate; seize; usurp: to assume a right to oneself; to assume control.

8. to take upon oneself (the debts or obligations of another).

9. Archaic. to take into relation or association; adopt.

- courtesy of http://dictionary.com

On the first definition are the words: suppose, postulate, posit. When you later add perhaps then that is what you are doing. You are trying to state: that you do not know, that you are guessing, supposing or postulating about the situation. Hello? What part of that do people not understand?

This just came up on another blog where I stupidly attempted to defend a blogger who had pointed fingers and name dropped. I intentionally said something about maybe an assumption was made and that better communication could have solved the problem.

I got a huge attack over that word. And yes, it was the word they attacked. Good thing they didn’t get real and just attack me personally.

It was mentioned at least 3 different times. Hello? It was an obvious out for both parties. When someone throws out a lifesaving device don’t be stupid enough to attack the device. Grab a hold of it and save yourselves. And attacking the rescuer? Stupid stupid stupid.

I am not dead meat, not a victim and certainly not a martyr. I didn’t post names, for the publicity or just to poke at someone. Truth is, I didn’t really have a bone in the fight. Not my blog, not my name dropped. Not my problem.

So why then do these two fools try to make me the victim/ martyr:

mar·tyr /ˈmɑrtər/ –noun

1. a person who willingly suffers death rather than renounce his or her religion.

2. a person who is put to death or endures great suffering on behalf of any belief, principle, or cause: a martyr to the cause of social justice.

3. a person who undergoes severe or constant suffering: a martyr to severe headaches.

4. a person who seeks sympathy or attention by feigning or exaggerating pain, deprivation, etc.

- courtesy of http://dictionary.com

As if I wrote the blog post to begin with?

Or as if I canceled an appointment, via my assistant, via email… a paying appointment no less.

And no that wouldn’t be rude if my appointment was a paying appointment with your assistant. But this was a one on one coaching call. That means one on one, personal, even if for business. It was a freaking beginning to a relationship. Relationships, even if business based, require a personal response. Ok, well, ones I want to have require a personal response. Especially if I am putting out my hard earned cash in order to have the pleasure of taking this persons advice seriously.

Well, I’m no martyr, but if that is what the two parties need to make them both feel better about themselves I will act the part. To a point. I’m all for people getting together and working toward a win/win situation for themselves. Since I have no desired outcome based on the situation my win is if they grow up and treat each other with dignity and respect. And if they can do it with a little grace, well my hat is off to them.

Grace is important. It separates the men from the boys, the fools from the geniuses.

We’ll see if it goes any further.